I am very sad, very confused. Really feel like crying. I m very lonely, really very lonely, when did I become like this? How come everything turns out to be this way, am I being too possessive? Did I balance in the wrong way? Why I dont know how to balance my life well? I am really very sad, lonely and confused. I dont know what to do now, all i know is to cry and cry. My heart really aches, I feel so alone now.='(

Happy 21st Birthday to me

Has not been blogging for quite some time. Today is my 21st birthday, feel happy for what is being given to me by everyone around me.Previous saturday Dad bought a cake for me for my advance 21st celebration with my relatives. Last friday, kor kor and yiyi give me surprises and it really makes my day, feel very relaxed and happy thru out the whole outing=) Today, the actual day, feel very happy and honoured that my dear will try to make a point to celebrate my birthday with me, thought some of the surprises is not fulfilled. Really Feel very happy n grateful that I could have all the blessing and gifts that even some of them is what I have been hoping for.

Recently, I notice that he changed. How and what kind of changes,I dont really know how to describe it, is just different from what he used to be in the past. Did mention to him but hmmmmm, maybe this is human nature ba, seems to be like nothing that either of us can do, or even if can, maybe is not the time yet, or I m not used to his changes, but all I wish that the love that he have for me will never change and it goes the same for me.

Hmmmmm, Really hope that from today onwards, I can change my bad habits of thinking too much or getting upset easily and some of the stuff which could lead to some misunderstanding and unhappiness. Wandering could I do it??!!

Your Inner Child Is Sad

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

I was very touched that yiyi & kor kor actually delay our movie date from yesterday to today, We went for breakfast in the morning then followed by our movie date: MI3. After which we went down to THPZ wishing to visit Iris mummy but hmmmmmmmmmmmm, so sad, she was not working, so in the end we just talk to some of our old colleagues & went to have our lunch. Heehee, yiyi treat us to swensens & we have quite some fun there=)
The feeling of going back to THPZ today is very very different, dont know hw to describe the feeling, but just feels that the whole place has change a lot, erm as fo human wise, that is where i really dont know hw to describe, is like very MO Sheng.Maybe is true, as you grow, you tend to change or maybe they are not whom I used to be very closed to, so that is why I am feeling this way ba.
Overall I did really enjoyed myself today with the 2 of you!!

I got a new bracelet from him finally

Last sunday, dear dear finally bought me a bracelet which he has promised me since i lost my favourite one.
Initially we did went to look for one after I lost that, but seems to be like nothing caught my eyes.But as times goes I thought he might have forgotten all about it, so I never really think about it, but surprisingly, Last sunday, after our breakfast, before my last driving lesson, He bring me to all the jewellery shop such as Perlini & Bits & Pieces to look around. Initially I thought it was just purely looking around, but in the end he ask me to choose what I like, but i was still thinking that maybe is just asking only, but surprisingly he really ask the sales girl to took it out and pay for it. At that moment, all his actions really melt my heart, really very happy that he still remember what he has promised me.

Lost of My Fav. Bracelet

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:'( Super bad mood today, I lost my Fav. bracelet. That is my Fav. bracelet which I ever have. It is from cambodia which bel bought for me. Althought the bracelet is not those very very pretty de, but is one that I would Definitely put it on whenever I go out.Actually is due to the losening of the opening of the bracelet, initially there is no problem, but is all because of yesterday, if I never put it on while doing my project and cause it to tighten till cannot be taken out, then my sis jiu wont take the cliper n force open it and causes it to lossen. And I also dont know what has happen to me today, stupidly still go and put it on even though initially already have that feeling that if i put it on, it will get lost sooner or later due to the lossening of the opening. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I WANT BACK my bracelet, but my family & bel says that is very hard to get back, the reason is besause I dont really know exactly where did I drop it at, I just feel that is either at the North Canteen or on the way out of our school. But I REALLLY WANT BACK MY BRACELET, I REALLY MISS MY BRACELET. Where are you my dear bracelet, I really miss u!! HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I really have the urge to go back to sch to just look for it jus now, but after hearing their comments and thinking it logically, is really very hard to find it back. BUT I REALLY WANT IT BACK.

Yestderday night was a wonderful & happy night for me. Because yesterday Dada come n fetch me after my work. The happiest thing is he bought CHOCZ chocolate for me. Everytime when I pass by the shop, I will be looking at its chocolate and everytime I have been hoping that someone who I love will buy give me, hehe,then finally yesterday Dada bought it le.=) I was so surprise when I saw that, the feeling was unforgettable & words can never describe how I feel last night,besides the chocolate, and also the way he behave last night that really makes me feel very sweet & happy=)

I am really very sad, I dont know is it because I tend to think too much or what, but it seems to me like nobody really understands me, no one can really lent me a ear to listen, all I need is a ear to listen,is that so difficult?? At times I really feel like a failure, i seems to like dont know hw to manage my relationship with my friends, my family, my boyfriend and my studies is only those jus able to make it only. Why all of them dont understands me, why those who are really close to me n knows my characters dont even understands me? Is it that when u need to li yong me tat time then I am your good daughther or sister or.. I am really very very disappointed. At times, I really feel that am I jus a LI YONG PING to all of u.I know that at times is my fault when I raise my voice at u al, but why do u al hav to treat me till like I am your enemy? Do u all really treat me as your sister n daughther or jus your atm or ur happy happy jiu scold de chu qi tong?
I know that at times is really a bit disappointing when u all ask mi out but i cant go, but this is not what i want too, U all should know that I have family curfews, U all should know that how my family will react & what will they do if I everytime go out. But does that means that if I do not go out with u all in every gathering, jiu means that I am someone who has boyfriend le, jiu forgets about friend le? U al everytime only will know hw to say that I confirm is spend time with my boyfriend one la, dont know how to spend time with all u friends, but who really understand how I am feeling during the whole of this holiday? When I need someone to be there, is there anyone there for me? when I really wants to go out with u friends, can i go? are u all free? do i have to rush hme again after meeting u all for jus awhile only? U all will only think that I still have my boyfriend to be with me ma, but who will really knows the whole situation? He needs to go for his attachment when I am having my holidays, then only 1 day off, enough for what? for his own stuff? for his family? for his friends or for me? Then now attachment over le, thought he will have more time but, his project again. OK never mind, thought sat or sun, either days we can have the whole day out or maybe half a day, in the end family need his help. Then how? Is this what u all say that I only know how to accompany him but not u all? I am not trying to "man yuan" or what, but jus feel that is all this fair to me with jus all ur one sided view? I am not pin pointing at who, I am jus venting out all my angers & my unhappiness n my disappointment in all these stuff.
Is a brand new year now, I jus really hope that all of these stuff wont happen to me again.