Very long never blog, reason being, busy plus at times just dont know how to put them into words. My luck wasnt very good ever since last week till today. Everything was not going so smoothly and lots of hiups on and off. Suppose to enjoy myself last weekend, but end up being ruin by my parents. Following day, slept for just an hour to 2 only, has to wake up at 3 plus in the morning, thinking that could finsh praying early, end up we could only pray in the daylight, because of uncle's car spoil, and we waited for 3 to 4 hours.. Hai...
A brand new week, a good start, but rubbish, has to OT for 2 hrs plus. Telling myself that never mind, monday only, is ok, tuesday will be better, ha, who knows, tuesday super duper bad luck, being assign to this particular surgeon theatre whereby everytime I will surely get scolding from him either by dropping stuff or even the hose spoil, also my problem or whatever, no matter how hard I try to do my very best, and better still, if he didnt scold me, then I will get hit by some heavy stuff. Some more my senior in charge also has conflict with him, whereby I heard that he has already condem her.. True enough that night, I get all the rubbish again, drop his stuff, get scolded by him, he throw the instruments on my table, my senior answered him in a very bad attitude and in the end he wants to talk to the sister in charge and request to change staff. I was being scolded by him till in the end I broke down. Therefore he request to change because 1 give bad attitude, the other become emotional, because he saw I cried. Ha, ever since this incident happen, for the rest of these few days my confidence totally drop super lot. I become very scare to go to work, when I scrub up, very afraid of dropping stuff, when circulating, I tend to feel breathless even is just a very minor stuff, my performance totally dropped.. Every little thing that is not going well can also make my tears flow. Feel really super duper useless. Really wish to go for a long break, and just dont feel like going to work tommorow morning. When will all these rubbish goes away???...